2014 wasn’t a big yoga year. I stopped because my twenty minute sessions were bumming me out and I was reluctant to do longer sessions because I had neither the time nor the patience for long hold poses. My all time least favourite pose is Chair Pose, or Utkatasana in the Sanskrit, which looks like this:
You hold Utkatasana and you feel it in your hamstrings, your shoulders, your core, your glutes. Hold it a bit longer, you tire. You hurt. You want to drop down into the fold and relieve the tension and sensations that now flow throughout your body. You hold the pose. You make the choice to continue to hold the pose.
In Utkatasana, I am present, I am intentional, I make decisions. Some days, I do modify, and I bring my arms to centre. But this too is a conscious choice, not an avoidance. Most days, I make the choice to hold the pose.
I don’t like facing unpleasant sensations, unpleasant feelings, unpleasant situations. I like to avoid. I like to procrastinate. I like to distract myself. I don’t do emotion. I detach.
I am not dealing with things, yet. But I continue to hold the pose.
Namaste is my new favorite word. All the good in me salutes all the good in you.
I’ve always enjoyed Yoga. There was a twice weekly morning class in my gym which I attended religiously whenever pesky interferences like school didn’t get in the way. Part of my gap year plan included returning to regualr Yoga practice. But then our teacher got pregnant. So I had to find a new source of inner peace.
Enter: iTunes podcasts. I don’t have to keep turning my head towards a video screen and I can close my eyes as I move. Its no replacement for a real class but I can do it anytime of the day that pleases me. And for a little while after each session, my mind silences. And even if its only 5 minutes, I relish that silence as one of the high points of my day.
I’m trying to make yoga a daily thing. There are a few reasons, the first being that until my new job starts, I have a lot of time on my hands. On top of this, I have to stop running for the week thanks to my freshly banjaxxed knee. I am hoping yoga will help my knee (strained) and my mind (a similar state) all in one swift movement of a downward dog.