I love the internet. I love to read on the internet and write on the internet and talk to people on the internet and watch TV on the internet and live half my life on the internet. Such is the Y2K generation. That said, I am hurting lately. My head hurts and my brain reels. It’s my own fault. I maintain a Tumblr.
My Tumblr blog contains two things: gifs of Sherlock and Doctor Who, and (for want of a better word) social justice. And here is the thing: reading and signal boosting information and knowledge and academia which educates us on the oppression and stigma and discrimination some people face is a good thing. A very IMPORTANT, very good thing. I don’t want to get into privilege and queerphobia and intersectionality and racism and everything because it’s late and I am not eloquent enough (or in a position to speak for other people). Part of being a good activist and a good ally is raising awareness and pointing out when things are super hurtful, triggering, or problematic. It is about slowly informing people so that this horrible system that we live in is broken down, one person at a time.
But I can no longer deal with these discussions in real life. Because they are no longer discussions. They are arguments. They are straight up verbal fights about proving that “I’m not like the others though.” And me yelling back that I don’t care and if you’re not working to break down oppression, you are passively contributing to it. I don’t want to yell and I don’t want to fight. But I am sick of getting angry at the people I love. Because I am not angry at them. I am angry at the lack of human rights. I am angry at the higher risk of mental health disorders and sexual assault. I am angry at microaggressions and assumptions. I am angry at the fact that I have to be “be calm” to the people who are arguing to make sure I can’t get married, or risk losing the “allies” who I need to change the law. I am angry. But not at individuals. Frustrated sometimes, but I don’t want to hurt you. And really I can’t. No matter how badly you feel after me referring to you as a cishet (which I don’t understand because it is just short for cisgender heterosexual), my words cannot take away your right to marriage or adoption, cannot make you more susceptible to murder or rape, do not make you more likely to get fired or harassed, really cannot do anything at all.
But the fighting hurts. Should I stop? Deep in my soul, I cannot. But, friends, can the arguments stop? Its not personal, I just want to see change. I need to see change. And derailing a conversation doesn’t make it stop. It doesn’t make you correct, it just makes you louder than me, and I can’t concede on what I know to be right. So, let’s just be friends. My church has a saying “In the essentials, Unity. In the non-essentials, Liberty. In all things, Love.”
In all things, love, friends. In all things, love.
Instead of getting into the nitty gritty, here is a quick summary of how I’m getting on with my list
Watch every episode of Breaking Bad
This is something everyone should do. Five series. Best five series of your life, I promise. Chemistry, Aaron Paul, the ruining of Malcolm in the Middle forever, and a super satisfying ending.
Watch every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
This was longer. Seven series of 22 episodes each. It was still awesome. Its all the feminism and vampires that Twilight is so sorely lacking. Plus 90s everywhere.
Watch Shawshank Redemption
It took 21 years, but yes, it is a great movie.
I’m sorted for the next ten years and my picture isn’t half bad. Success!
Go to an Aquarium
I went to Sealife in Bray when I was working summer camp. I may have spent more time telling kids to not stick there hands in the water than actually looking at fish but there were sharks at the end and ice cream was a thing later in the day so it is all good.
Swim in the Ocean
Also a summer camp endeavour. I went in fully clothed (well… bright yellow polo shirt and shorts), ruined the company phone by forgetting it was in my pocket, dragged 8 year olds around on the back of a boogie board, and did all this without getting burnt. I love the ocean 🙂
There is always this question in lists of random questions asking who would play you in a movie. I do not know. But because I am a creep, I know who would play my friends. And not the actors. The fictional characters. For the sake of not getting boxed in the head (as my godfather’s little one so delightfully coined today) you can guess yourself who is who.
I am tired and I couldn’t think of anything festive.
Friends, my Christmas gift: knowing that I love you enough to weirdly think about these things.
Nobody said it would be a good gift.
Happy belated Halloween! Halloween has always been my favourite holiday. Whether it’s my fascination with gothicism or my love of costume, I have never not dressed up and I have never bought a costume. I’ve been repeating costumes a lot in the last two years because I haven’t had anywhere to go or time to commit to sewing but I still try.
I was on placement yesterday so going out was a no go but I still had time to zombie up for UL Zombie Walk! What better way to spend an evening than become the walking dead with your awesome friends to raise money for the Mid West Rape Crisis Centre.
(All photos are property of UL Photographic Society)
Happy Samhain kids.
I learnt a basic waltz in my mandatory ceili dancing class in primary school. This class was not particularly popular among a group of 10 year olds who were staunch in the belief that members of the opposite sex were rife with cooties.
But I can do a basic box step and turn and it’s gotten me through life so far. The opportunity to dance in a couple is not one that presents itself very often. Sinead and I banged out some moves two years ago at a session in Cha Healy’s in Kerry and that was the last time I had moved my feet in time with another.
I don’t know how it came up, but I found out last week that T never learnt to waltz. We were at a dinner party at my friend’s house and everyone had had a glass or two of wine at this point. So I grabbed his left hand and put his right hand on my waist and showed him my basic one-two-three. There might have been music, there might not have been.
But it was amazing.
QueerBash all began eight years ago in 2004 when Paddy McHugh RIP, the then President of OutinUL Society decided to take the words Queer and Bash and make it into something positive for the gay community and also the event was to bring together the whole student community of UL whether you where Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual, Lesbian, Transgender or Questioning
Check out all the details here!
This Friday 13th April sees the 9th Annual QueerBash from Out In UL, the LGBTQ society in my university. I first heard about QueerBash when I was 16 and working for the Red Ribbon Project on work experience. I remember coming in and my supervisor telling me about how she had been too lazy to really commit to her drag king look so had instead stuck on a moustache, left on her usual look and went around shouting, “I AM A LAAAAAAAAADY!” I have wanted to go to QueerBash ever since.
This year is a tribal theme – “Queers Go Native!” – and whilst I am not sure what every other act is doing, I am pretty excited about what I am doing with Choral Society for the event. Daemon Irrepit Callidus, we will have our day again. After a hard night of partying, Sparkles is also happening in UL the next day and involves a series of workshops on pride, sexual empowerment, marriage equality and lots more.
Out in UL is one of those things that I joined with a few nerves but has been the best society I have ever been involved with. To the extent where I occasionally wander up to our president, Niall, and remind him how much better my life is now that I am part of the group. There have been great moments, distressing moments, flawless moments. Fronds, I love you.