2014 wasn’t a big yoga year. I stopped because my twenty minute sessions were bumming me out and I was reluctant to do longer sessions because I had neither the time nor the patience for long hold poses. My all time least favourite pose is Chair Pose, or Utkatasana in the Sanskrit, which looks like this:
You hold Utkatasana and you feel it in your hamstrings, your shoulders, your core, your glutes. Hold it a bit longer, you tire. You hurt. You want to drop down into the fold and relieve the tension and sensations that now flow throughout your body. You hold the pose. You make the choice to continue to hold the pose.
In Utkatasana, I am present, I am intentional, I make decisions. Some days, I do modify, and I bring my arms to centre. But this too is a conscious choice, not an avoidance. Most days, I make the choice to hold the pose.
I don’t like facing unpleasant sensations, unpleasant feelings, unpleasant situations. I like to avoid. I like to procrastinate. I like to distract myself. I don’t do emotion. I detach.
I am not dealing with things, yet. But I continue to hold the pose.