To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I believe in fate. I also believe in making decisions for yourself. I know that I can choose what to do but I have no idea what the consequence will be.
Did I choose to have an eating disorder? No. But I did choose recovery. Have I succeeded yet? I don’t know. I’m not sure if I have controlled this course of events at all.
Did I choose to do medicine? Yes. And I also chose to leave. I chose nursing. But did I think I wouldY react to it the way I did? Not at all. I was hoping for the best and I lucked out.
I didn’t choose to be queer, I didn’t choose to be born in Limerick and be close enough to UL that it was my first choice of college, I didn’t choose to be in Costello’s the night I met T (I was at a friend’s birthday), I didn’t control any of this. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There is no use in having regrets. Things happen and you deal with them. You build your character. You grow.
You can’t control everything. And that’s good.