Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
That all depends on what I think I do. I nurse. I play music. I organise events and argue for rights on the LGBTQ community. I write here and there. I doss around.
Nursing is a big deal to me, particularly because I left one healthcare profession for another. I enjoy, I feel I’m doing something that matters, it settles my day and when I get into a routine I like in a ward I like, I am a much more stable and content person in my personal life than I am in college. Every now and then, I think about (or someone asks me) whether I would ever go back and do medicine. But I wouldn’t. Because to me, nursing isn’t settling. It is an essential job and it is a privilege to be allowed to connect with a person on the level one does when caring. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Thinks like writing and music and languages and all the other artsy things I do have a habit of consuming me completely for short periods of time, where I wish that I had never chosen my degree and that I had the opportunity to struggle through trying to make it professionally as an “artiste.” While a part of me wishes I had the confidence to say Fuck It and run after my prospective dreams, I feel the cons outweigh the pros. Especially since taking up writing and singing as an employee of someone else (rather than on my own time), I am becoming more certain that I would become increasingly frustrated with the job as the years went on. This way, the things I love remain the things I love.
LGBTQ stuff? I’m going to do it regardless. When we’re equal, I’ll stop. Until then, allons-y.