On Quitting Therapy

I am the biggest advocate of therapy I know. I think its great to explore your psyche and emotions with another person to guide the way. I think the entire experience can give you perspective and help heal the buried issues that crop up in the form of other behaviours.

I am about the quit therapy. I have been in and out of counselling for a year and a half; more often than not I have been going to sessions weekly. In my last few sessions however, I am just coming out an emotional mess. I will wake up on a Friday morning feeling fine. I will go to my session and then go home (instead of going to my lecture which is straight after) because I go on an unstoppable crying jag for at least half an hour.

What I find is that I am starting to fight. I have a smart answer for everything my therapist says. I have no underlying issues anymore, no latent emotion which is masked by my binging. My big issue right now is that binging itself causes me distress. And its all fine and well to analyse why I did what I did when I was six years old. Back when I first started into the recovery process, I did have a lot of experiences that needed dealing with. Now, I’m not so sure what’s left.

So for the time being, I’m going to stop. I’m going to focus on college and my relationships and regular eating and regular exercise. And I’m going to see how that works. If I need to go back to therapy, it’ll be there waiting. For now, I’ll see what its like just to sit.


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