Hopefully as you read this, I am happily on a treadmill, completing my interval long run. An hour and fifteen minutes of 2 minutes green zone, 7 minutes yellow. Then a beautiful cool down of blue 🙂
Ever since I came home from college, certain shows have been banned from the house. Whilst Gok Wan is still perfectly acceptable territory (YUS!) everything from Supersize Vs Superskinny and Fat Families to America’s Next Top Model is firmly switched off at my mother’s request. In fairness, this is for the best and triggering is all too easy. And I can easily fill the time with Peep Show, House and Grey’s Anatomy (I am over my whole aversion to hospital shows.)
I remember one episode of Supersize Vs Superskinny featured a girl of 5’5″ weighing in at 105lbs. The family collectively grimaced at the sight of this undernourished girl in the same way we did towards her oversized counterpart. At 5’5″, my lowest weight has been 104lbs. And in my mind, this still wasn’t enough. To think that my perception of reality changed so much in such a short period of time is… not shocking, but notable. I once thought that Beyonce was the most beautiful woman in the world. And whilst I still think she is amazing, stick her next to Lady Gaga and all I can find myself doing is passing a comment on relative heftiness.
As if to strengthem Mom’s resolve to keep me away from such shows, the one episode if ANTM I have seen this series introduced me to Ann.
And I am not proud of this, but I still think she is beautiful.
But which is more important, I must constantly remind myself, being thin? Or being able to run, having the energy to go about my day, being free from calorie obsession and being able to have kids some day. Working on it, to say the least.