Ok, the title is a lie. Because there is no need to set out action plans for the rest of my goals. I just need to do them. In reference to Goal 2-Run a 10K, I need to find a new race. Turns out Cork Choral Festival and the Great Limerick Run are on the same day. Fail. But I have to pick Cork Choral. I love that Opera House *guuush* Fills any void I may possibly have in my musical soul. So any race ideas around the May/June time period are openly welcome 🙂
This is a blatant plagiarism of both Nicole Nichol’s Confession series on the Daily Spark and Melissa’s SideNotes Series on Trying To Heal. But I find both so amazing that maybe its time I make this kind of thing part of my Action Plan #1. I just don’t want to make this whole blog a giant stream of “woe is me.” But at least this way, I can get it out.
So this week has been a struggle. On more days than not, I woke up feeling like I had a battle on my hands. Some days, I went to sleep feeling I had lost that battle. Other days, I felt like I had won but knowing that I’d have to fight the same battle tomorrow. Bingeing has been bad this week. But I am really trying again, resetting my resolve and trying to stay determined. I’m keeping my exercise going though. This is a step in the right direction. I’m watching calories, I admit. But the exercise is for my mind. Not as a binge/starve reaction. I am trying to focus on my running and yoga achievements (increased mileage and crow pose!)
The worst day was Tuesday night. I was in Cork and having a grand ol’ time with my friends (admittedly eating my weight in candy, but that’s another story) and we went out to a club. I was fine for the first half hour or so. Then I don’t know whether it was the amount of people, the public space, the amount of reeeeally pretty thin girls or what, but I became so self conscious and so upset that I started to hyperventilate and panic. Even after I walked out and got some air, I was like a piece of lead bringing down the whole group for the rest of the night. I wonder why becoming social has become such a big issue lately. Honestly, I’d just prefer an evening at the cinema with my mom… Is that sad or what?
In musical news, I am back in choir – first day back was exhausting! So much breathing… – and me and Daddy are setting to work on our new act. And by setting to work, we are essentially picking songs to do. But we should be singing by the week’s end 🙂 As soon as we’re ready, I expect you all in Clohessy’s. Drunkenly supporting me 😛